Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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