i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
