So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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