He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
