fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize