we have officially lost it.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
