it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
