so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
