My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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