Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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