i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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