mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
