then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
