So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
