Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
