Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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