There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
