Me too!
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
