How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
