i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
