and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
