no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
try to milk me bitch
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
