For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
