i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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