friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
