Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
