Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
