Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize