You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
