i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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