We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Congratulations! We have a period
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