I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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