Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
