Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
