Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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