3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize