im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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