so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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