I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
