Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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