do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
