she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
