i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize