And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
