I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
