He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize