I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Randomize
