I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
