Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
