Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Did I show you my penis last night?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just had sex on a roof
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
