my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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