i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize