At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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