There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
