Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
