We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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