This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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