TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize