Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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