He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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