You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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