I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
