You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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