I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
