ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
