problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
