theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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