Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
