and you said cock pushups were impossible
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
