dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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