just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
