I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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